


Hot, Strong and Bittersweet

by tromana



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: F/M, Humor, One Shot, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 20:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tromana/pseuds/tromana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Lisbon wanted was a cup of coffee...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot, Strong and Bittersweet

It was a quiet day in the office; in fact, it had been quiet all week. Lisbon appreciated it when things were less hectic than usual. It meant that all was well with the world and people had taken a break from killing one another. Somebody wise had once said that it was a good thing when cops were bored and Lisbon wholeheartedly agreed. However, long spells working purely on paperwork led to lapses in concentration and that never helped.

And for Lisbon, the best thing to help avoid that is regular breaks for coffee. That was precisely how she managed to do the same arduous tasks for long periods of time. Besides, she had long since grown to love the drink and wouldn't want to do without it.

So, when she strolled into the kitchenette to discover an 'out of order' sign on the coffee machine, written in all too familiar handwriting, she was less than impressed. She was especially annoyed given the fact that nobody had bothered to inform her and instead, had waited for her to find out of her own accord. It was a matter of seconds before she stormed into the bullpen, folded her arms and demanded an answer to a very important question.

"Which one of you broke the coffee machine?"

"Wasn't me, boss," Van Pelt answered swiftly, with a frown painted on her features. "I only drink soy lattes from the coffee cart out front."

"Sarah made me cut out caffeine. I'm only drinking smoothies now."

The hint of lament in Rigsby's voice almost made Lisbon laugh. Only almost, because she still wanted to find out who the culprit was. In reality, she was already well aware who was responsible for the damage. However, she needed to confirm it and more importantly, she was looking for an apology. And preferably, a coffee from him as well. She really needed that coffee, damn it.

"Jane did it."

Cho didn't even bother to look up from his computer. Lisbon sighed; she'd had preferred it if he'd admitted to it himself, but figured that this was going to be the best she was going to get. Shaking her head slightly, she closed the distance between herself and the couch, where Jane was resting, like usual. With one swift motion, she unceremoniously kicked the piece of furniture to disturb him. She knew he wasn't sleeping; the smirk said more than she needed to know.

"Hey! I was-" he protested, but Lisbon quickly cut him off.

"Don't bother lying. I know you were just pretending to sleep."

"Then why did you bother to abuse my couch?"

"It's not your couch; it's CBI property."

Jane immediately sat up and started stroking the couch soothingly, as if he were trying to make it feel better. Lisbon scowled; she'd never understand the relationship between the man and his couch. Instead, she continued to glare at him irritably. She'd worked with him more than long enough to know that this was just one of his mind games. He was trying to deflect her attention from the task in hand: gathering information about the coffee machine. Of course, she wasn't going to fall for something like that. It just wasn't in her nature to, not any more.

"Don't listen to her," he said soothingly. "She doesn't mean it. She's just grumpy because the coffee machine reached the end of its natural lifespan."

"No it didn't;  _you_  broke it."

"You have no evidence."

"Oh really?"

Lisbon tapped her foot in irritation and waited for Jane to reassess the situation. The lack of coffee had immediately put her into a very foul mood and she wasn't willing to mess around. After all, Jane was still grinning quite happily; he knew he was guilty and so did she. As far as she was concerned, they might as well have just cut to the chase and got on with it. But then again, this was Jane, and he was probably going slowly but surely mad with the lack of work. Breaking the machine just to get a rise out of her had probably been his way of alleviating the boredom.

"Or… you're just bored in this quiet spell. What happened to chasing down criminals? Why are you wasting your time hounding poor, innocent consultants?"

"Innocent, my ass," she huffed under her breath.

"No need to be rude," Jane answered back swiftly. "You need to fight your caffeine addiction, Lisbon. Contrary to popular belief, it  _is_  a drug, you know."

"Considering the amount of tea you drink, I hardly think you're one to judge."

"Tea has less caffeine in it. And besides, if you're really that desperate, I'm sure there's some instant coffee in the cupboards somewhere. I think I saw it once, when I was looking for some cookies…"

"Instant coffee tastes like crap."

"You say that about the coffee from the coffee machine anyway."

"How would you like it if I suggested you drank instant tea?"

"There's no such thing, surely?"

She quirked an eyebrow and Jane balked slightly. Lisbon wasn't above petty revenge when it came to Jane and if that meant ridding the CBI headquarters of all the teabags on the premises, then so be it. Of course, he had to know that she meant it too. Whenever she was in an irritable mood, which if you believed him, was the majority of them, she was more likely to act rashly.

"Okay, so it does exist, but it  _is_  a crime against tea. You really think anyone should bother drinking it when there is far better stuff on the market?"

"And yet you think I should be drinking instant coffee?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, my dear Lisbon."

"I don't care," she held up a hand in protest as she spoke. "How the hell did you break it anyway?"

"I was trying to make you a coffee," Jane protested, bored of maintaining the 'innocent' act. "Buying you all those coffees is expensive and as you well know, the CBI doesn't pay much-"

"I don't  _ask_  you for the coffees, so don't have to blame me."

"Well, I'm hardly going to drink the stuff am I? Anyway, it was out of coffee and I…"

"You know what? I don't want to know anymore," Lisbon retorted; her levels of frustration were reaching boiling point. "I'm informing Wainwright. No doubt he'll want to charge you for a new one."

"But he already hates me!"

"Please. Just because he called you a psychopath, it doesn't mean that he hates you, Jane. Actions speak louder than words."

"But-"

"And if anything, I believe it was actually an astute observation and you have taken it to heart."

Before he had a chance to respond, Lisbon left the bullpen and headed straight back to her office. She didn't leave quickly enough to avoiding hearing Rigsby's comment of 'I thought she went easy on him, actually', though she did miss Jane's inevitable retort.

With a sigh, she closed the door to her office tightly shut and headed back towards the calm of her desk. Slowly, she rested her head on the table and carried out some breathing techniques. Digging into Jane like that had been a touch unprofessional and she knew it. Just because it was something that the team had grown to expect her to do to him, it didn't mean that she actually had to behave in such a way. After five minutes, once she had gotten her state of mind back under control, she started working.

But not before Jane opened the door to her office and walked straight towards her. She didn't bother asking what had happened to his manners, if his mother had ever taught him to knock on closed doors. Lisbon already knew the answer to both those questions anyway. Instead, she remained silent as he placed a cup of something beside her and waited for him to speak.

"I know it's not coffee, but chamomile tea has some real calming properties. I thought it might help."

"Thanks, Jane," she muttered, almost sadly.

xxx

Come morning, Lisbon had already walked into the kitchenette before she remembered that the coffee machine had been broken. She almost turned on her heels to walk away, when she spotted something different.

Something new.

A shiny, metallic coffee machine. Top of the range, if she hadn't been mistaken.

Attached, was a post-it note with two words written on it: I'm sorry.

Lisbon smiled as she allowed her hands to run over the smooth curves of the machine. Footsteps quickly approached from behind her and she turned to see who it was. Jane. She wasn't surprised in the slightest. After all, the thing he loved most about getting people (and especially her) a gift was seeing their reaction. Of course he would want to see if she liked it or not. And in his hands was her favorite mug and already, it had been filled with hot coffee.

"That machine will make the best coffee you've ever tasted," Jane said before quickly adding, "or so I've been led to believe by the lovely sales assistant. So if it doesn't, you'll have to take it up with Natasha."

He handed her the coffee as his smile broadened. Lisbon closed the distance between them to take it. Surprising herself, she swiftly rolled onto her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on his left cheek.

"Thanks, Jane," she said and she meant it as well. "I appreciate it."


End file.
